I happen to be a big believer in analogous reasoning. I was fortunate to study under a teacher who professed that in order to fully understand any proposition one had to be able to redress that proposition in all new clothing and see if there was a sound basis in principle.

With government growth and control on a nose bleed track, I decided to try to find a way to truly look at the effects of what we are facing with some of this fire hose legislation.

I observe that most all political issues seem to come dressed with a heart string headline: “Help the millions of uninsured”, “Save the economy”, “Save the Planet”, “Save the poor minnows”, or “Break dependence on foreign oil” (All of which most people would support on face value). What I find when I dig into the legislation proposed is little to no substantive action that will effect any benefit.

So, for instance, take the new proposed health care reform. Everyone hates paying insurance and medical bills and everyone would support a system that would make medical care cheaper, easier to get and more reliable, of course.

Okay, I hate traffic, hate paying high gas prices, hate making car payments, hate car maintenance, hate changing flat tires and hate driving long distances. So, I decided to take the new approach to health reform and dress it with my disdain for car ownership and see what could happen if the government suddenly decided to have “commuting reform”.

Imagine if you will, CNN breaks the latest on Washington: “Due to the death toll rising on our roads (boosted by the rise in texting while driving), the upturn in road rage, the escalation of teenage driver accidents, the out of control cost of fuel, the millions that have to stand in the rain waiting on a bus, the destruction from carbon emissions killing our planet, the glutinous profits realized by the big auto insurers driving up insurance costs, the weight of accident victims bearing on our health care system, the sudden unreliability and lack of safety on rail commuting and the millions unemployed, Washington has proposed the “Auto Reform Act” (ARA).”

Under this new proposal:

1. Anyone who does not presently have a car will be supplied a chauffeur (putting millions to work driving) driven limousine (Hybrid or electric of course which will boost auto production of the government owned auto plants while putting millions to work) to take them anywhere that they wish to go at a cost that is a fraction of the cost of owning a car under current standards (the indigent would be charged nothing).

2. Anyone now owning a planet killing, foreign dependant oil burning car will be taxed to cover the government supplied limousines and if and when that vehicle should become unusable that person would be immediately enrolled in the limousine program at a tax increase of 10% (of course off set by no fuel costs, insurance costs, etc.).

3. Anyone owning a planet killing, foreign oil burning vehicle who decides to change insurance companies would be forced into the limousine program and taxed as prescribed above.

4. All commuter trains will be converted to freight haulers to relieve the highways of planet killing, foreign oil burning semis. Commuters would be enrolled in a car pooling limousine program and taxed according to their ability to pay as described above.

5. Auto companies will immediately be forced to produce only vehicles that met or exceeded the emission and sustainability levels of the limousines currently supplied above (and they all must be painted white to reflect the sun’s heat and stop this global warming).

6. As an incentive the government has set aside $900 billion in revenue to cover this program and to offer any owner of a planet killing, foreign oil burning vehicle a check for $10,000 and forgiveness of any debt liability (because they own the banks) on said vehicle if they will turn in their vehicles for destruction.

NEW HEADLINES:

“In some of the most progressive legislative efforts in history, the ARA has passed both the House and Senate and was signed into law today by the President.”

“Today we go to Philadelphia with live footage of the happy commuters arriving at work in their chauffeured limousines. Person after person was professing the joy of just riding without worry and wondering why something like this had not been done before.”

“A special exception to the ARA was ruled on today and upheld that lawmakers were not subject to the limousine program as it would place an undue burden on lawmakers being able to make crucial meetings if their government vehicle was being serviced. It was determined to be a matter of nation security. This exception carries forward upon retirement of the lawmaker.”

“With the economic pressures weighing on states’ budgets it has been determined that with the availability of the new ARA, federal support to states will be cut for those states that continue to issue new drivers licenses, as Congress sees this as wasteful spending.”

“The new budget, cutting state support for license bureaus, was signed into law today.”

“Revenues are down for the Federal government so, Congress has decided to tax auto insurance companies an additional 20% tax on profits and has moved auto insurance regulation under the SEC abolishing state regulators (saving the states even more money).”

“After a debate before the Senate today, lawmakers failed to approve an amendment to the ARA wherein the government could be sued for failure to perform in supplying chauffeured limousines in a timely manner. Lawmakers noting that it would increase the federal budget by $6 billion to staff dispatching offices with more adequate staff and lawsuits would just clog the legal system.”

“It was announced today that a new regulation has been put into place that, based on a study authored by the Department of health and Family Services, forbids limousines from taking riders to any fast food restaurants, night clubs, bars or loud concerts. The White House spokesman stated that the government could not support such destructive behavior as it unfairly taxed our health care system which was running so far over budget after being taken over by the government.”

“In a heated dispute over the 2^nd Amendment, the Supreme Court today ruled that the right to bear arms did not apply to government owned vehicles and therefore the limousines did not have to allow purchased firearms or ammunition to be placed in their interiors or trunks even if left in the sealed retail packages.”

“Only two weeks after the controversial ruling of the USSC on firearms in limousines the Court passed down a ruling that the Federal government had a First Amendment right to reproduce and/or broadcast any promotional messages that it chose to the riders in limousines as long as the messages did not have vile or vulgar language and the volume was not loud enough to create hearing damage.”

“Mary Fagan, 85 years of age and the last private citizen with a driver’s license, died today in Charlotte, N.C.”

“The aging fleet of limousines are creating scheduling problems and the DOT has asked and Congress has granted a plus or minus 2 hour arrival time, along with a new requirement that any rider not at the curb within 2 minutes of limousine arrival can be left without notice.”

“Sixteen auto manufacturing plants have shut down over the past two years and thankfully we have the limousine program so that most of those displaced employees were able to find work as drivers.”

“There was a grand celebration today on the Whitehouse lawn where lawmakers joined together to personally bash the last remaining plant killing, foreign oil dependent vehicle in a ceremonious ending of a dark era in American history. The vehicle will go to the Smithsonian to be out on display as a great American achievement. Thousands were in attendance as all limousine service in the DC area was restricted to travel to this event. Although there were some complaints the White House said that the restriction was necessary for the better good as they projected competing traffic create too much of a burden on DC police.”

“Today in Atlanta, Ga. six were arrested for hijacking a limousine. As unlikely carjackers, six businessmen in three-piece suits flagged down a limousine on its way to make a pickup, dragged the driver out to the street, jumped in and sped away. When asked what motivated them they responded that their business had been invaded by IRS agents while they were away at a meeting and that they were told that it would be a 4 hour wait for their limousine. The suspects were tracked down by the GPS unit in the limousine. “You just have to make do with what you have.” stated one suspect. Incidentally, it is purported that the meeting that the six were attending was pursuant to an order from the new Industrial Regulatory Agency. Some are suspicious that it was a coordinated efforts between the two agencies that sparked the incident.”

Now as bad as I said that I hated car ownership, all I have to do is think about what I could give up to be chauffeured around in a free limousine supplied by my government. I look at my car differently now.

I definitely look at health care reform differently because more freedoms (such as life) lie in the balance there.

Government aid is all about control, not benefit and is paid for with freedom.

JUST SAY NO!